Before & After

    Imagine playing “what-if” scenarios in your head on every thing going on in your life and always running with the negative outcome instead of things actually working out in your favor…that was me. I used to worry about EVERYTHING, and I do mean every single little thing, because I was more comfortable knowing what was to come. Example: what if my ex doesn’t help me with school supplies? My mind would go into panic mode and I’d freak out about how I would get school supplies for my kids. What I should’ve done was set funds aside for next school semester and make it work by doing my best and getting the supplies little by little. Nope, not me. I had to have a full fledged melt down first and then gather myself (mainly my thoughts) to put together a plan that would help me attain my goal of getting my kids school supplies if my ex didn’t help me as planned. 
    Fast forward to today, only this time it’s regarding my health and work. The older I get, the worse my sinuses have gotten. I’ve been diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and I have high blood pressure. I’ve missed a good bit of work, which I vacation hours and sick leave to cover. Still, my supervisor has a talk with me regarding my absences. I don’t go to the doctor for every single thing, so most days I didn’t have a doctor’s note. The last question he asked was how could I resolve these absences, I replied- not get sick?? It was more of a question than an answer for me. I was told I’d have to work for the next sick months without calling out to resolve the matter. That’s just not real life to me. On 7/31/23, I went to the doctor, informed my supervisor the Saturday before, horrible body pains that wouldn’t quit. My doctor said it’s muscle spasms, I’m home taking meds. I logged into the company’s website to request leave, the website gave an error message. I dialed the 1-800 number, the automated voice was unable to identify my employee number. I am just home now, I emailed the manager but didn’t receive a reply. In another chapter of my life, I would’ve done one of the following: A. Gone to work and skipped taking the pain meds and muscle relaxers as to not lose my job or B. Sat home stressed out worried because I couldn’t reach anyone (I don’t have the numbers of my supervisors). Today, I am at C. I did my best to get in contact with them, it led nowhere. I am home taking my meds and resting so I can feel better and return to work better than I left. No worries. 
    I am human. I get sick/injured. I cannot plan for every single moment of my life. The unexpected will happen. I am my priority in this lifetime.

The End ♥️

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