I’ve moved to a new place, no familiar faces. (I’m not too far from family, maybe 45 minutes to an hour away) I go to work and back home, I see the people I work with more than my family and friends. People at work all know one another, I’m an outsider that doesn’t make the effort to fit in with the crowd. As the new face, people will judge you harder and longer because you’re a stranger and you don’t try to make friends. Friendly faces? Good conversation? Folks to hang out with? NOPE! Here I am, full time mom without family and friends. In this new area, I am constantly criticized by folks at work for one reason or another and I’m parenting without time to myself, I had to quickly develop tougher skin to handle my new life. (Stay with, I promise it’s all going to make sense) 😂😂
As I’ve been working on my mental health and releasing traumas from my past, it’s been easier to see who I’m becoming. I know who I am, I’m confident within myself, I love the woman I’m seeing when I look in the mirror. I’m defined by my rules and not those of society. I am Woman. I love myself!!
Shadow work, opening those doors that’ve been locked away and hidden for so long, facing the hard realities awaiting on the other side. Tears. Anger. Weight lifted from my shoulders. Writing. Talking. Taking time to myself as needed helped me to accept the things I cannot change, helped me release the guilty that held me in bondage for decades. Opened my mind to new possibilities and being bold in my decisions, taking risks that I deemed worthy. My desires matter. No outside noise, just me. I am not my trauma. I am worthy of love, success and happiness. I neglected myself for so long, examples of others abandoning me made me feel unworthy of love. I hated the image I saw staring back at me just 3 years ago. She was cold, empty and afraid of everything. She’d become all that they said she would. DEALING WITH YOUR DARK SIDE IS JUST AS IMPORTANT AS CREATING A HAPPY SPACE. You are not separate from that piece of yourself. My shadow work led me to prayer, meditation and a better understanding of life in general. My true self emerged from that shell of my former that was left of my past life. Love returned to my being, it came from the most important person in my life, me…
Self love has helped me to realize I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO PROVE TO ANYONE other than myself.