The rose colored glasses are off, I’m looking at the woman in the mirror and I’m changing my mindset. People appear different. My actions are responses now, not reactions. I’m accountable.
What do I do next?
I work on myself, building patience.
I used to be extremely impatient, would get highly upset if things didn’t happen on my timeline. Waiting for things was anxiety inducing, rage invoking…get somebody else to do it at its finest. Note to self: YOU CANNOT CONTROL EVERYTHING! Calm down!
Meditation, prayer and writing helped me understand I have to be patient in this worldly realm because life is full of hurry-up to wait moments. The next stop would’ve been hermit mode, never leave the home had I not learned patience. It was so extreme. Screaming to the top of my lungs in the car, taking out my anger on others and being in a funked up mood the rest of the day. Calming music replaced aggressive tunes. Writing out my frustrations became the norm and venting to my people in times where I felt more overwhelmed than I could write out. My environment added to my situation. Example: I’m already upset, I turn on a hype song that adds fuel to the fire. I can’t calm down like that. Listening to spa type music restores peace to my mind and spirit, now I can put my feelings into words.